nce ‘pon an tyme, in a lande across the sea, a younge gentle-mann of leisure did encounter a fair maiden. Strukke by her beauty as though by an bolt, this gentle-mann dist pray be told the maiden’s name. She, however, did say unto him that if he desired her name, he must bring an pass, and visit her at the Castle by next break of daye.
Now, truly, this younge gentle-mann of leisure did much desire to know the fair maiden’s name, and if so also to court her. He determined in his heart most vigorously to pursue her unto the Castle. He wrote up his pass, and for companions he took four; the first being an young fellow not much grown out of boyhood, his name being Hope. The second, a rascally knave who little knew what he was about, that being Desire. The third, a foolish blind manne by the name of Determination. Finally, a fourth fellowe, old and crippled, who pursued their band always although he was never welcome – Despaire.
Wythe these four companiones, the young gentle-mann did set forth upon the road to the Castle. Wherefore they reached the great bastion wherein was set the gate, a watchman stood by was heard to calle;
“Go thee no further! Hath thee no ay-gent to admit thee through thys gate? Thou pass be notte enough!”
“I know of no ay-gent!” calleth back the young gentle-mann of leisure. “What manner of beaste be thys?”
“Let us be about thise villaine,” said Determination of the watchman. “And batter down his gate!”
“It shall do us no goode,” Despaire intoned. “Mannie hath tried afore, and none succeed.”
“Then mayhaps let us seek out thys ay-gent creature,” Hope saith, “that we may be peacably admitted.”
“What think thee on it?” the young gentle-mann asked of Desire.
“Whatever means by which we may secure fair lady’s hand, that means is goode enough for me,” came his reply.
Thus agreed, the stoic band did turn back on the road, seeking out an ay-gent afor nightfall shrouded the kyngdome in darkness.
Next time, on Personification-Ridden Faux 16th Century Writing Parodies, our intrepid hero and his
imaginary friends face the DREADE AY-GENT – will it be enough to learn fair lady’s name? FIND OUT, NEXTE WEEKE!